dirty_one_liners_and_jokes.htm

Some of our best Dirty one Liners

 

What’s the difference between a dead hooker and your job?
Your job still sucks!

 

What is the definition of  real Confidence?
 When your wife catches you having sex in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, “You’re next Fatty..

 

 

A daughter wanted to know how to spell  Penis , so she asked her mother.
Her mother said its a pity you didn’t  ask me last night as it was at the tip of my tongue

 

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Get her to dress  up as an alter boy

 

What do you call a 16 year old girl from Essex who can run faster than her six brothers?
A virgin

 

What’s the main difference between a  rabbi and a  catholic priest?
A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off

 

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?
The Blacks get car insurance

 

How did  the redneck mother know  that her daughter was on her period? 
She could taste the blood on her  young son’s dick

 

 I just love  dating homeless chicks?
 You can drop them off anywhere

 

Old Chinese proverb:
Rape not possible! Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down.

 

Why did the group of  Englishmen keep  staring  at the carton of orange juice?
It said “concentrate

 

Why wasn’t Jesus born in the Essex ?
Because the Lord  couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin

 

 

What the main similarity between  the Bermuda Triangle and blondes ?
They’ve both swallowed a lot of seamen

 

What is the longest organ in a sheep’s body?
A Welsh  dick

 

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